The Untitled Kannazuki no Miko Crackfic
by Shan-chan aka Cosmic Castaway
Summary: Mahoroba is a pretty boring place to live, and thus, Chikane and Himeko are pretty boring people. Yet something is starting to happen... something... gasp! INTERESTING? Absolute crack. You have been warned.


**The Untitled Kannazuki no Miko Crackfic**

By Cosmic Castaway

It was another lovely day in the quiet, quaint village of Mahoroba. The birds sang and the sun shone as the clouds drifted soundlessly across the sky. Flowers bloomed brightly and fragrantly in every garden. Scattered people, happy smiles plastered on their young, ambitious faces, laughed gleefully while widow shopping or playing in the park. Yes, time indeed moved slowly there. Very... Veeeeery slowly.

So slowly, in fact, that a normal human being would probably die of boredom within 24 hours of arriving in said place.

The people of Mahoroba were used to being boring, though. In fact, they were some of the most boring people on the face of the earth. Aside from a little "incident" that had shaken up the town for awhile involving an ancient evil arising, yadda yadda yadda, giant mechs and lesbian angst... which the majority of them conveniently FORGOT, no less... nothing interesting happened there. EVER.

Thus, Himemiya Chikane and Kurusegawa Himeko, the only two residents of Mahoroba who DID recall the formerly mentioned "incident", were engaged in a typical day of being freaskisly happy and polite to one another while they participated in a variety of activities which to most, would be considered at the very least a household chore. More than likely, though, it was more of an equivalent to a slow death by happy poisoning... for the two young girls had no shortage of happy on hand.

After Chikane had finally washed away all of her angst using an "As Seen on TV" anti-angst showerhead (with rotating head and power massage!), she had become literally devoid of all negative emotions. Himeko, as well, got over her fear of hair touchers- an unfortunate phobia resulting from a freak accident in her childhood involving a hobo and a jar of superglue- and she too had became virtually sadness-free. After all... the two of them WERE finally together, and had HAWT LESBIAN SECKS liek every nightOMG. What more could they possibly ask for?

"Chikane-chan, I'd love to hear you play the piano again" Himeko exclaimed joyously as she finished up the day's 68th bout of afternoon tea.

Chikane smiled fondly at her adorably molestable friend. "Well, if you insist... though I'm running out of music."

"What's left" Himeko asked, lazily building a replica of the Lincoln Memorial out of sugar cubes. "There must be something out there I haven't heard you play."

"Weeeeell..." Chikane rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a large red booklet of sheet music labelled 'The Wiggle's Greatest Hits'. "I do have THIS."

Himeko squeaked happily. "Anything you play is beautiful."

"Alright then. Onward... to the piano chamber" Chikane prononced rather OOC-ishly, and she and Himeko skipped like a couple of drugged cheerleaders into the sunset.

-

The day went on and on as all their days did. They picked vegetables, cooked food, ate food, drank over 200 gallons of tea in tiny little cups, tried on designer dresses in Chikane's closet, bathed, brushed eachother's hair, and engaged in no fun whatsoever. The highlight of the day was Chikane's riveting classical rendition of "Ahoy, Captain Feathersword, Ahoy". The girls complimented eachother, giggled, and blushed discreetly all day. Himeko performed her daily ritual of "stare at Chikane in utter awe and respect" for a solid hour while Chikane posed dramatically a record-breaking seventy three times.

It was indeed another day of utter roll-your-eyes FLUFF where nothing remotely interesting ever happened. Well, until the HAWT LESBIAN SECKS, of course.

"Oh... oh, gods..." Himeko moaned, bucking her hips on Chikane's face. "I'm close, Chikane-chan... I'm... ughgdsgdfcdbfsgsd! SFSDHGDH!FCDSGGGGSGS YEEEEAH! Okay done."

Satisfied, Chikane sat up and removed her bib. Himeko blushed deeply and curled into her lover's embrace.

"Thank you, Chikane-chan" she whispered softly. "I love you."

Chikane grinned and kissed the top of Himeko's soft blonde head. " I love you too, Lumpkin."

Himeko winced slightly at the odd pet name. As Chikane settled under the covers and snuggled her close, ready for sleep, Himeko was deep in thought. What on earth was coming over Mahoroba? It seemed to be getting rather random lately, and the randomness seemed too out of place. Himeko hugged her giant slinky close and began to wonder.

"Wait... waitaminute here... since when did I own a giant slinky" Himeko pushed the offending toy out of her bed and sat bolt upright. "This is getting very strange."

"Hmm? Himeko" Chikane questioned sleepily. "You're not still randy, are you? 'Cause my tongue can only do so much in one night."

"No, nothing like that..." Himeko replied, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm worried, Chikane-chan."

Chikane blinked. "If this is about that time that we hijacked Air Force One and got it on in the moon shrine, I assure you those transmissions recieved in Houston were NEVER distributed on Ebay."

"What"

"Oh, nothing. What is it then" Chikane smiled drowsily and propped her head up on her elbows, looking interestedly up at her cute blonde lover.

"Well... I've been noticing... differences, lately. Differences in our everyday routine."

"Like what."

Himeko pointed to the large rainbow slinky which now lie sprawled out on the carpet. "I don't remember having one of those before."

Chikane pulled an enormous pineapple from under her pillow and took a bite out of it. "Well, I don't reamember ever having one of THESE either, but I'm not complainin'."

Himeko began to back away slowly. "Th...that too! Chikane-chan, I barely recognize you anymore! The Chikane-chan I know and love would have been, well... at least mildly disturbed about finding large fruit buried in her bedding."

Chikane shrugged and belched loudly, a pinapple cube flying across the room and breaking a picture frame somewher on the wall. "Your point is"

"B... before you know it, Chikane... you'll be suggesting that we do something crazy tomorrow... like... like... visiting the local arcade to check out their new DDR machine, or miniature golf followed by a night of bar-hopping and karaoke hijinks."

Chikane's eyes widened. "I wouldn't go THAT far, Himeko. You know how much I value our scarily quiet dinners at our big-enough-for-the-entire-population-of-Bithlo, FL table whist we engage in light conversation and are glared at by my creepy maid"

"Alright, I went too far" Himeko apologized"But honestly, Chikane-chan... you and everything around me seems to be changing. It's doing it little by little, but soon I fear that we may become as interesting as the lead characters in most yaoi and het cartoons"

"Calm down... that'll never happen, Himeko. We'll always be a sterotypical shoujo-ai couple... I'll always be the successful, dark-haired, sexy "holding back my emotions" seme and you are forever my clumsy, light-haired, adorably sweet little uke." Chikane paused to pat Himeko's head reassuringly. "We just have more fans because we snog more often and used to have a bunch of pissed-off robots running around. Nothing to worry about."

"Well... if you say so, Chikane-chan." Himeko got back into bed and snuggled against her friend. "I wouldn't want, say, time to move quickly and anything interesting to happen here. Then we'd be a huge, fun as hell mess like Gravitation or Kyou Kara Maou." She stopped and shuddered at the thought.

After a bit of quiet, Himeko asked sweetly"Tell me, koiishi, what we will be doing tomorrow."

"Well..." Chikane began"I figured we'd gather vegetables to make breakfast. You'll listen to me play the piano again and then we can try on more clothes. We'll prepare lunch and eat under a beautiful tree in the park. Then we'll take a long nap in a bed of flowers as the clouds roll slowly by."

Himeko took great comfort in such a canon-sounding list of activities. "After our nap, what shall we do? A visit to the carnival, perhaps"

Chikane shook her head. "Nah. Now that I heard you say it, I think a round of mini-golf followed by karaoke hijinks sounds hella fuckin' cool. What do you think, Himeko"

Sadly, the ex-solar priestess had relapsed into a rather catatonic state.

"Oh well." Chikane shrugged. "More pineapples for me"

Thus, Chikane put on a fruit hat, danced the limbo, and made prank phone calls all night.

THE END!1!


End file.
